Love believes all things…

Today’s is a short one.

Fight for love… Fight to protect your connection. Believe all things. Bear all things. Hope. Don’t give up, don’t run away.

We have a choice to believe the best about others. We have a choice to say no to the voices of fear and insecurity and doubt and accusation.

Choose love.

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Published in: on January 30, 2015 at 5:55 am  Leave a Comment  

Gratitude

It’s easy to forget.

Still can’t get over how far I’ve come – 2 years ago next month I didn’t know how I was gonna make my bills, and called my student loan company weeping, asking to examine options for deferring repayment while I worked things out. The following month everything changed when Ashley Prior offered me a job playing bass (for real money) and I was able to work and save.  In the following two years, I went from having…

no money,

a car with serious repair needs and old tires,

single driver muddy in ears,

an old and partially floodwater-broken iphone 4,

an old line 6 pod XT live

not to mention a lot of loneliness and insecurity and a fear of vulnerability…

To having

a trailer trash board set up with real pedals (shoutout to my friend Bryan!!),

my own Westone dual-driver in ears, and recently upgrading to 1964ears‬ custom molded in ears(with encouragement and help from my dear friend Rachael),

a new(to me) MacBook Pro retina (with help from my good friend Matthew),

a new iPhone 6 (with help from Mom)

a car with 4 new tires, properly aligned wheels (a feat I had previously been told was not possible due to irreparable damage) and a brand new tie rod/etc with help from my friend Doug,

TWO jobs doing what I love (playing bass and running live sound),

a third job getting to delve into the edges of the medical field thanks to my friend Richard

And a much stronger view of myself and ability to open up with others, thanks to many of the aforementioned and also thanks to wonderful friends such as JayeJoanna, JD, Genevra, and many others…

So, in short, I have been abundantly cared for in both financial provision and with good friends. I am stopping to contemplate this, because it is so easy to lose perspective of how much good we have been given. I am thankful for this moment of clarity. I hope you also can get a moment outside of whatever fog has tried to swallow your light and remember all that His hand has provided.

Published in: on January 15, 2015 at 4:33 am  Leave a Comment  

Sometimes it’s better not to have a plan… Or is it?

Well, my readers. It’s been a while. I keep trying to come up with great series and such, and promising these things before I’ve completed them – and then this or that falls through, or life happens and I am busy, and I don’t do it. So I’m tossing that out for now. Here I am. I’m just going to start writing. I’ve left this alone for too long.

Sometimes it’s better not to have a plan. Or is it?

Plans… expectations. I’ve been thinking about this – convenient segue, ain’t it?
The terms are sort of interchangeable, at least the way I use them. In fact, I think most often I think I’ve made plans when what I’ve really done was set an expectation. I think I need to redefine these terms. At the end of the day, I think what I am advocating isn’t a forsaking of plans, but a laying down of expectations and a clear line drawn between planning and setting an expectation. Goals and plans are helpful. The expectation that I will complete something to such and such a degree within x amount of time, that always does me in. I make grand expectations and call it planning – ha! Planning is so much more. Planning involves a – what a convenient phrase – PLAN of action! Expectation is just vision casting without a roadmap.

I am tired of not accomplishing what I set out to do because of my lack of well-laid plans. Of course, we also know that there is truth to the phrase about the best laid plans of mice and men (they often go awry), but developing a plan – not just a high expectation with no course of action – is at least a starting point.

SO, that being said, perhaps instead of setting an expectation to produce great material, I will just plan to write. Some great material will come. Maybe some not-so-great material, too. But I want to be able to look back a year from now and pick out the great from the not-so-great. So instead of promising great expectations, (wow, Sierra, so many high school literary references tonight), I come here to form a plan – my plan is to engage with this place two times per week. Twice a week. Not a specific day or time. If that means that next Sunday rolls around and I crack out two separate posts in one night, so be it. That’s a two-time minimum. I am hoping that momentum will get us more than just two a week. After some time, I will catalogue what I already have. Here’s to the process, and to the plan, and to whatever ways it may go awry, and once again to the journey because I think that is incredibly important.

Thanks for reading 🙂

Published in: on January 12, 2015 at 2:13 am  Leave a Comment  

Coming Soon: Prophetic Musicianship

What does it mean to be a prophetic musician? This is a question I have often asked myself, considering that I am one. 

I decided to set out to find what prophetic musicianship means to those who are doing it. Stay tuned for some posts giving insight on what it means to be a prophetic musician, shared from IHOPKC musicians and worship leaders such as Sean Downs, Travis Damme, Rachael Dorthe, and others. 

What are questions you have regarding prophetic musicianship?

Published in: on September 8, 2014 at 5:56 am  Leave a Comment  
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It’s Not About the Wait

A lot of us have heard about it by now – a girl posted a blog about regretting that she waited until her wedding night to lose her virginity. Links to response blogs that proclaim the glory of waiting have been popping up all over my Facebook feed from my many conservative evangelical friends that I have acquired across a childhood spent playing music on church worship teams, teenaged years attending a Christian High School and Baptist University (by choice), and my adult years in vocational ministry. 

A few things before I begin my main point: 

1) I am all for waiting until marriage, and thus far have been successful 26 years strong at not jumping in to bed with, well, anyone.  
2) I never took a purity pledge. I never had parents breathing down my neck monitoring my state-of-virginity. I grew up in public school*, come from a broken family, and didn’t necessarily have a good example given by a lot of the people around me. Despite this, I chose to go to church, made a personal choice to maintain the sacredness of my own sexuality, made a choice towards chastity. 
3) I am a Christian, in vocational ministry (my organization uses the term “intercessory missionary,” but that’s kind of hard to explain and isn’t the point of this post).
4) I also hold a B.S.E. in Pre-Medical Health Science Studies from Baylor University, where on top of your standard MCAT sciences my course load included multiple semesters studying psychology and human sexuality, as well as a few theology courses. A weird combo, I know. 

I am not going to link to the article that started the controversy, and I am not going to link to the responses. You won’t have to look too hard to find someone posting an opinion piece on whether or not to wait until marriage. Let me begin by assuring you that this is not one of those. As you have probably guessed from point 1, I have an opinion, but I also believe that if I write a blog post selling that opinion, I will only mostly end up preaching to the choir of those trying to endure the waiting, or I will be heaping more shame on those who couldn’t or who, worse yet, were robbed of that.  

Oh, did I just say that? 

Shame. That’s what this post is about. (more…)

Published in: on August 20, 2014 at 12:59 am  Comments (1)  
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Blessed Are They That Mourn…

Mourning. 

We deny ourselves this opportunity. We try to clean up our lives and pretend everything is alright. 

Jesus painted a different picture. In the Sermon on the Mount, He proclaimed that those who mourn are blessed, because they will be comforted. He wasn’t afraid of the mess. He wasn’t afraid of the real pain that comes with grieving, with mourning, with running in to the pain. He came here to come near to those who were broken, and to show us to do the same. 

Tonight I got news that a dear, dear friend of my family died in his sleep, taken by the cancer he has been battling for some time now. 

I am in mourning, many are. He was a very kind and gentle man who took me in and made sure I was ok while my family was crumbling, and has continued to see himself as a sort of father in my life as I’ve grown and become and adult. (more…)

Published in: on August 18, 2014 at 12:56 am  Leave a Comment  
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A Year (or two) in Review

Where to begin? The past couple years of serving with IHOPKC have been jam-packed with a wide variety of experiences.

I joined staff in Summer of 2012, and went to Arizona for 3 months to meet with friends and family and build a team of ministry partners. I spent the summer sharing about the prayer movement and my journey in the Lord, and returned to Kansas City in early October. I immediately hopped back in to service with Hope City, the inner city ministry of the International House of Prayer. I spent time there every week day, and when I was not there, I was engaging in the perpetual solemn assembly that is going in IHOPKC’s Global Prayer Room. With Hope City, I primarily served by helping run their prayer meeting, whether it was as a musician on various instruments or as a worship leader. At one point, I was serving in various roles on 10 different worship teams to help keep a prayer and worship service going in the heart of the inner city Monday through Friday from 8 am-10pm every week. This was a very exhausting but a very rewarding period of time. I was only able to run at that pace for about 3 months when I felt the invitation of the Lord to pull back from that level of intensity in that arena and transition into service with our Media team.

Let me explain a little about our perpetual assembly, because otherwise this next part won’t make as much sense. (more…)

Published in: on August 16, 2014 at 5:57 am  Leave a Comment  
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Under Construction

Hello, folks. I know I have promised a return from hiatus on more than one occasion, and then not actually returned. Long story short, the house I lived in didn’t have internet, and then we got internet, but my laptop wasn’t working reliably. I have a new laptop now and I will be working on bringing you all more content on prophetic musicianship, theology, worship, prayer, and a few other topics that the Lord has put on my heart. I really look forward to sharing with you all about what He has been doing in my time at IHOPKC these past two years as I have served on staff across various departments – Hope City (our inner city ministry), the Media crew (as a camera operator, director, and broadcast sound engineer), and my favorite – playing on several of our worship teams in the Nightwatch. I hope to share with you all what I have learned through serving in these various settings – now that I have a reliably working laptop, you can count on more updates on a more regular basis. Check back soon to see the first few installments on prophetic musicianship, and a more detailed update! 

Published in: on August 13, 2014 at 12:43 am  Leave a Comment  
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Checking In

Hello friends, I wanted to leave you all with a short update about what has happened in my life:

Back in October I returned to the International House of Prayer in Kansas City from my support raising trip in Arizona. I spent 3 months primarily serving as a musician and worship leader in our inner city prayer room, at which point I limited my hours in the inner city so that I could become a camera operator for our 24/7 global live webstream. In late January, I also joined IHOPKC’s Nightwatch as a musician on Ashley Prior‘s worship team, helping lead musically for our unceasing global worship and prayer meeting in the night hours between midnight and 6 am. Needless to say, I’ve been a little busy, as I still have my hands in all of these service areas.

 

Published in: on May 14, 2013 at 9:59 pm  Leave a Comment  
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MIA

Dear readers,

I must extend to you my sincerest of apologies. I got this blog back in gear just before heading across the country, without thinking about the situation into which I was moving! I have not had internet access at home since October and, as such, I have not been able to keep this blog updated with the workload I have undertaken now that I am back at IHOPKC as a full time intercessory missionary, musician, and whatever role for which I have the necessary skill/experience/willingness. Now that I have internet back at my home, I hope to get a few more interviews and posts up. Thank you all for your patience while I work on getting things back up to speed!

Published in: on January 18, 2013 at 2:02 am  Leave a Comment