It’s Not About the Wait

A lot of us have heard about it by now – a girl posted a blog about regretting that she waited until her wedding night to lose her virginity. Links to response blogs that proclaim the glory of waiting have been popping up all over my Facebook feed from my many conservative evangelical friends that I have acquired across a childhood spent playing music on church worship teams, teenaged years attending a Christian High School and Baptist University (by choice), and my adult years in vocational ministry. 

A few things before I begin my main point: 

1) I am all for waiting until marriage, and thus far have been successful 26 years strong at not jumping in to bed with, well, anyone.  
2) I never took a purity pledge. I never had parents breathing down my neck monitoring my state-of-virginity. I grew up in public school*, come from a broken family, and didn’t necessarily have a good example given by a lot of the people around me. Despite this, I chose to go to church, made a personal choice to maintain the sacredness of my own sexuality, made a choice towards chastity. 
3) I am a Christian, in vocational ministry (my organization uses the term “intercessory missionary,” but that’s kind of hard to explain and isn’t the point of this post).
4) I also hold a B.S.E. in Pre-Medical Health Science Studies from Baylor University, where on top of your standard MCAT sciences my course load included multiple semesters studying psychology and human sexuality, as well as a few theology courses. A weird combo, I know. 

I am not going to link to the article that started the controversy, and I am not going to link to the responses. You won’t have to look too hard to find someone posting an opinion piece on whether or not to wait until marriage. Let me begin by assuring you that this is not one of those. As you have probably guessed from point 1, I have an opinion, but I also believe that if I write a blog post selling that opinion, I will only mostly end up preaching to the choir of those trying to endure the waiting, or I will be heaping more shame on those who couldn’t or who, worse yet, were robbed of that.  

Oh, did I just say that? 

Shame. That’s what this post is about. (more…)

Published in: on August 20, 2014 at 12:59 am  Comments (1)  
Tags: , , , , , ,